A Letter from The Chicken Man
With the swirl of questions surrounding Rob Miller’s positions on key issues, someone, or some chicken, had to take action to get some answers for South Carolina voters. Thus, it is I, the Chicken Man, who like so many heroes of lore, carry on my wings the great burden of bringing peace and order to a chaotic and uncertain world.
I have embarked upon a profound journey into the unknown- a dark, topsy-turvy world that is resistant to answers of any kind. For it is within this world that my silent nemesis hides in the shadows like a scared, little… well, a chicken, I suppose. You may be thinking that it’s a contradiction that I say that, but it’s a common misconception that ALL chickens are scared of everything. I mean, you ever run into a vicious rooster with huge spurs? Trust me, my cousin was a rooster and the whole coop was terrified of even coming close to…well, never mind- didn’t you see the Gamecocks take down Alabama? That should tell you something…
My point is simply this: Rob Miller must answer the pertinent questions that voters are asking, such as “Did you agree with the stimulus package?”, “Do you support Obamacare?”, and “What is your stance on the barbaric act of chopping a chicken’s head off?”. Well, maybe you don’t care about that last one, but the other questions sure deserved to be pecked around!
In the end, when Rob Miller actually answers the questions that I, and so many others are asking, my mission will be complete. And when this glorious day comes, no longer will people be wondering why the chicken crossed the road. For once, the answer will be obvious- to demand answers from Rob Miller!
Until next time,
The Chicken Man
P.S. To watch some videos of my exploits, please click here now!